


don't look back as you go (or i won't be able to let you go)

by earlgrey_milktea



Series: milktea's saso2017 fills [38]
Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Future Fic, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-03 15:13:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11534841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earlgrey_milktea/pseuds/earlgrey_milktea
Summary: makoto always knew haru was going to leave him behind.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> original prompt [here](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/23665.html?thread=13896305#cmt13896305)
> 
>  **quote:**  
>  I won’t be in the history books; that’s for you. But I loved you first. As long as they get that right, I don’t care what they say.  
>  _—[The Thirteen Letters](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2689091/)_

Haru’s icon is orange. Makoto checks the time, again, but the clock tells him that he’s on time. He always is. Haru usually is, too. But he’s been busier lately. Makoto understands. It’s very time-consuming, being a pro swimmer. 

He understands. And he’s proud of Haru, he always was, always will be. But it’s a little hard, sometimes, being stuck all the way here in a tiny Tokyo apartment, while his best friend—and by all means, soulmate—is all the way over there, going after his dreams with his bare hands and stubborn tenacity.

The sudden ringing of the chatting app startles Makoto. He flails, almost knocking over his tea as he hurries to answer. (He’s never really been much of a tea-drinker, but he remembers going over to Haru’s all throughout their school years and how his friend would always put the kettle on so they can settle on the tatami and just drink in each other’s quiet company. He has a cupboard just for tea, now.)

“Makoto.” Haru’s voice is slightly distorted through his laptop, but it’s still familiar in the quiet, steady way he says Makoto’s name. 

“Haru-chan!” Makoto smiles. “How are you? How was practice today?”

Haru’s head appears on the screen. His hair’s still the same as ever, straight and neat. Makoto squints. It looks wet; he must have just stepped out of the shower. His expression is the same collected calm Makoto remembers from their high school years. He looks so familiar, Makoto has a hand reaching for Haru’s pixelated image before he catches himself.

“It was fine,” Haru says. He fiddles with something off the screen. “How was class?”

“Good! We had a guest speaker today, and...” Makoto goes off about his day, sitting back comfortably he tells his story and all the funny happenings in between. Haru nods along, humming here and there and prompting Makoto if he starts to trail off. This is familiar, too. Even though their video chats and phone calls have dropped to maybe once every two weeks because of their change in schedules, Makoto is glad they can still find their rhythm like this.

“So, Haru-chan,” says Makoto. “Are you coming back for the break?”

Haru hesitates, and Makoto’s stomach twinges painfully. “Rin said there’s a special training camp in the States then. I was thinking of going with him, and a few of my swimmates.”

“Oh.” 

“I’ll go back the next break after that.”

“Right. Yeah, that’s fine. I mean, it’s up to you! Say hi to Rin for me.” Makoto picks up his mug, only to remember that it’s empty. He sets it back down.

Haru stares at him through the screen. For a second, he looks like he wants to say something, but then he looks back down. “How are the twins doing?” he says, and Makoto takes the change of subject as the out it is.

It’s later, after they’ve both hung up and Makoto finally lets his smile fall, that he finally forces himself to acknowledge the strange lump in his throat. He knew this was bound to happen eventually, and he knew his place as Haru’s best friend, to be proud, to be happy for him, to let him go. He always knew Haru was going places he couldn’t even begin to dream of going—from when they were still shy little kids, holding onto each other’s hands, learning to swim and watching Haru’s beautiful form always speeding ahead of him—Makoto always knew Haru would leave him behind. And he’s okay with that. Really. They might be childhood friends, and Makoto might love Haru with all his heart, but they’re always going to be going in separate directions. And that’s okay.

Makoto can only hope that his love for Haru will carry him as far as he wants to, as far as he needs to. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> haru wakes up to makoto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> original prompt [here](http://sportsanime.dreamwidth.org/23665.html?thread=14097777#cmt14097777)
> 
>  **quote:**  
>  "I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever." - The Hunger Games

When Haru wakes, sunlight is just beginning to stream in through the windows of Makoto’s tiny apartment. He can hear the streets below starting to wake up, too. Tokyo sounds different than what he remembers, but then, maybe he’s just been away too long.

A soft snore interrupts his hazy half-asleep thoughts. Haru rolls over. Makoto’s mouth is slightly open, shaggy brown hair splayed out across his pillow, tangling by his forehead. The dim light makes him look older. He snores again, nose twitching slightly, and a smile has risen on Haru’s face before he knows it.

He lets his eyes trace lazily across Makoto’s features, his long lashes, his nose, the full of his lips, the sharp cut of his cheekbones, the strong curve of his jaw. By themselves, they make an interesting caricature of a sun-kissed boy, but put together, they make up the familiar face of the boy he loves, the boy he’s loved forever and a day.

Slowly, Haru reaches out. He let his fingers trail, feather-light, down the bridge of Makoto’s nose, over his lips, past his chin, sliding down to the bump of his Adam’s apple. Makoto doesn’t stir. He’s always been a deep sleeper. Haru traces further downwards, over Makoto’s collarbones, across his clavicle, down his bare chest. He commits every touch to memory as best he can. Makoto is as beautiful as he is in Haru’s memories, but he’s also different. Familiar and yet strange. 

Time, Haru supposes, does that to you. You don’t notice the things you’ve been missing until nostalgia threatens to drown you.

When Haru reaches where the edge of the comforter rests by Makoto’s ribs, Makoto stirs. He wakes slowly, green eyes blinking open and taking a moment before focusing on Haru. Haru watches as a smile blooms across his face, all slow and easy.

“Good morning, Haru-chan,” Makoto says.

Haru stares at the way light hits Makoto’s face, giving him a healthy glow. He looks away. “Cut it with the -chan already,” he mutters.

“Aha, sorry, sorry.” Makoto yawns, turning onto his back as he stretches. Haru finds himself watching the other boy again. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be tired of watching Makoto.

Without warning, Haru shuffles over and pushes himself into Makoto’s side. He hears his friend make a curious noise, before familiar arms are wrapping around him. It’s warm. Comfortable. Almost too much so. Haru is seized with the want for this moment to last forever.

But he has a plane to catch, and Makoto has an interview he can’t miss. They’re at a crossroads. They always are, lately. Haru misses the days when they could walk, hand in hand, ocean on his right and Makoto on his left, heading home, together. 

“Haru-chan?”

Makoto,” he says simply, but Makoto understands, like he always did. In a few minutes, their alarms will sound, and real life will call and they’ll go their separate ways as they go forwards towards their dreams, but for now, they stay. Haru closes his eyes, and sinks into the familiar feeling of home.

**Author's Note:**

> @puddingcatbae on tumblr/twitter


End file.
